I just put Mugwort in my room, next to my bed to enhance my dreaming mind while I am asleep. WHY, you ask??!!
Because: I've realized how important the subconscious mind is. How meaningful my dreams can be...how the things that come to me in my dreams can sometimes be used as wisdom or guidance in my real life. It sounds corny or crazy...but I have had a ton of dreams this summer which actually brought my creative self to LIFE. Crazy, crazy dreams!!! Scary ones...trippy, strange ones...artistic and full of people I know, and people I don't know. And full of quotes and songs that I remembered when I woke up, and full of messages and hidden symbols. I'll have to write more about that later. But dreaming in general....hmmm...
Have you ever noticed that alot of times when you dream about something; it is something that just entered your mind for only a moment earlier that day? If I spend a long time thinking about something/someone, or consciously think, "I wonder if I'll have a dream about that tonight", I almost never do. What is is about those tiny little thoughts? The ones that enter my head for a moment, and then I shove them to the back of my mind and never think of them again...why those are the ones that always come out in my dreams when I fall asleep at night?
Lately my dreams have been very dark, but not necessarily evil or bad. Just artistic and entrancing. Full of things both so real and surreal. Almost like a fairytale or a Tim Burton film. So real, that the feeling I wake up with is the feeling which stays with me all day. A couple weeks ago, I think I may have figured out how to have lucid dreams...and it was like I gained control of it for a few minutes. Where the dream is transparent enough that a tiny little section in your brain is still awake!
Dragon's blood incense was burning, and the room was candlelit. Extremely tired, I lay down on my bed just to close my eyes and relax for a bit. I ended up drifting into this strange place between the conscious and subconscious minds. I was dreaming; I was in the dark, running down this straight, stone, endless staircase, faster and faster and couldn't find an end to it. I wasn't in control of what was happening in the dream...random objects were flying through the air...I wasn't sure of what any of them were. All of a sudden, I FELT myself THINK, "I think a bowl is going to break down these steps in just a minute"...and sure enough, in my dream, a blue bowl fell from above me and crashed onto the stairs next to me as I was running. I felt this sense of satisfaction like I had added that into my dream, consciously. But I was still too out of control to clearly think of anything else...I was slipping deeper into the actual dreaming mind. (It sounds so strange...it IS so strange!!!) All of a sudden, I could feel my left hand against my leg(in real life). I moved my hand a tiny bit and could feel the movement on my leg. But I could still feel myself running down the stairs, and see the dark staircase in front of me. For a few seconds, I was right in the middle of real life and the parallel universe of the dreaming mind. I think it is called lucid dreaming. I was half here, and half there. It was amazing!!! I suddenly felt frantic to hold onto that feeling, and to stay in that half conscious/half subconscious mind! But, like those magic eye pictures, where you can't see the hidden picture if you actually LOOK at it... the more I focused on staying caught between these two universes, the more I lost my grasp on it. The staircase quickly slipped away and I jumped myself fully awake... back to my smoke-filled, candlelit room, lying on my back with my left hand gripping the side of my thigh. I shook my head, excited about what had just happened. Honestly, I don't know why I'm excited about it...I don't know what being half awake and half asleep can really do to help me in the real world at all! But it just feels to me that being an artist; being in touch with your subconscious mind so much that you can dream and THINK at the same time could be something big.
Maybe you're right Juan Giarrizzo...maybe I am a daydreamer!!! But I think I've come across something much deeper than just daydreaming. ;-) If I could only gain control on how to do it all the time...it seems like so many creative ideas would come to me. Many of my friends have made jokes that I live with my head in the clouds...or that I daydream all day long...I think they are all right, I definitely do. Sometimes I think a tiny part of my spirit is ALWAYS in another world. And it was an incredible feeling being caught in between two worlds....one completely in my control and one completely OUT of my control. I don't know why people even feel the need to do drugs when you can do this, and I sure don't think this is dangerous in any way!!!! ;-) I don't NEED any kind of drug to access this expanded mind...and I am in awe of it. I don't need anything, but a perfect balance between releasing your mind, and controlling your mind. (Or Ryan Singer's "Is It Your Mind?" act...Haha..that is the greatest!!!!)
I'm going to look more into this..... :)
Love- Leah
